Sunday, January 10, 2010

Brain Food!

Hey, it’s Zed again.

Remember how last time I told you we’d talk about brains because zombies like brains?

Well, all the zombies want to eat is brains. But they don’t really have to. Almost all the food and stuff you see in the Zombieton stores has labels saying in BIG print: 100% REAL BRAIN TASTE (or something like that). But in little print you’ll see something like this: Product contains no brain, brainstem or brain juice. May contain Brainola ™ Synthetic Brain Substitute™.

The zombies don’t seem to care, though, so it must all taste like brains to them. I thought it was funny at first and that the zombies must be really dumb not to know the difference. But then I looked at the ingredients in my fruit juice box and noticed there wasn’t really any fruit in it either. So maybe the zombies aren’t any dumber than me.

BTW: I think I’ve made friends with a zombie kid, but I’ll tell you about that next time.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Why I Think Everyone Here Is a Zombie

Hi again. It’s me, Zed.

My family and I are still living in Zombieton, that weird town where everyone, or at least almost everyone is a zombie. Bet you’re wondering why I think everyone here is a Zombie. Well, the truth is: They just are.

If you’ve ever seen a movie about zombies, you know what I’m talking about.

These guys aren’t alive like me and you but they aren’t dead like, well, dead guys. They look funny, can do strange stuff, and want to eat brains.

I know it sounds harsh to say they look funny, but they do. Most zombies’ faces are kind of twisted with one side way different from the other. Like with one eye normal and the other one big. And when they stand, the zombies stoop over, or bend to the side, or even double over backwards. They twist their bodies in ways no human could or would, and they like weirding me out with that.

And doing strange stuff? The movies just show zombies walking stiff, but real sombies can pull an arm or a leg, or a nose, or anything off of one part of their body and just stick it back on another. And if that’s not creepy enough, they can borrow pieces from each other!

Got to go! I’ll tell you more about the eating brains thing next time!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Moving Always Bites, Especially This Time!

Hello from your friend, Zed.

My dad’s stupid company downsized, so we had to move again, like usual.

It feels like we’ve always moved and not ever stayed in any place for very long, so I’ve always been “that weird new kid” and never had the chance to make any real friends before my dad was transferred again.

But this time I though it would be different. I promised myself I’d try and fit in and make friends. But this time, it turns out that I’m the least weird kid in school, because we’ve moved to Zombieton and, well… Zombieton is the weirdest place on Earth.

I've tried telling my parents that it's bent here, but they don't listen. My big brother and sister don't get it either.

Pretty much everyone in town (except us) is a Zombie, and trust me, that bites! I don't think I'm going to be making many new friends.